Like right now I'm sitting here saying the best thing that ever happened in my life was the day I thought about and started to pursue suicide , like , literally feel that way . Like there , there's never been anything that's ever happened that's been better than my contemplation of suicide . And now the way I see death is completely different than then , then it was the worst thing .
And despite achieving things like academically , athletically and even professionally , I mean , work for a management consulting firm for a while . I was deeply depressed to the point of contemplating and then actively like pursuing suicide . Like I wanted to kill myself .
I , I am very certain and clear about that because I look at my own life and if any of us look at our own lives , you say my goodness , the worst thing that happened to me turned out to be the best thing . Everybody was discouraging me from contemplating , not saying that anybody should be killing themselves by God . No , but it's just a good reminder that at the end of the day , um we don't know what's best for anyone , right ?
Um You know , so those two things in particular , um the other thing you talked about , which is just as important as anything is the ability to entertain competing narratives , right ? Like right now I'm sitting here saying the best thing that ever happened in my life was the day I thought about and started to pursue suicide , like , literally feel that way . Like there , there's never been anything that's ever happened that's been better than my contemplation of suicide .
Now , what do you suppose that was , my mind was completely quiet as I contemplated my own death . It was also also the contemplation of the end of all my problems . So it wasn't death .
