So , but it's a funny thing . But , but on some level that is true of meditation , it's like you can't get there from here . Like , but the sense of you , the sense of you as subject isn't brought along to this thing you're looking for .
It's the thing that when criticized , I sort of let implode . Um it's the center of my problem and now I'm trying to feel better and meditation has been handed to me as a , as a possible , you know , remedy for my situation . And it , and it's billed as a remedy .
And so again , you're , you're the sense is I start out far away from the goal here , I start out with a problem . Uh I'm now meditating on the evidence of my un enlightenment . Right ?
The , the search isn't Consummated in the way that is implied by the logic of everyone's use of attention . Um And yet the problem evaporates and there's something deeply analogous about the structure of that and the the the meditative journey in , in precisely in , again , not talking about all the changes in the possible changes in the contents of consciousness that could be good , which again , they , they come along for the ride anyway , when you , when you do the thing I'm talking about , it's not on this point of looking for the self and not finding it . And there is this sense that OK , the self is here and it's a problem .
The sense that you are over here doing that thing is actually what it's like to be thinking and not knowing that you're thinking , you're not , there's a , there's a thought , there's an undercurrent of thought that's going uninspected in that moment . And um so there is just a , there's a continually looking for the mind , a looking for the center of experience , a looking for the one who is looking , which again , which is the kind of the , the , the orienting practice here . And there's a lot more I say about this obviously um over at waking up .
