AI Answer
It sounds like you have been through an extremely difficult time, and I'm glad you reached out for help. It's important to remember that depression and suicidal thoughts are serious, and you deserve support and understanding. Have you considered reaching out to a mental health professional or confiding in someone you trust about what you're going through? There are people who want to help you and support you through this challenging time. You are not alone, and there is hope for finding relief and healing.

How To Manage Your Energy

This is not what I intended . Got to a place I was so suicidal that I began to look up ways and means and methods to kill myself . Um , and I even had a suicidal uh , experience there where I decided I was gonna slash or slip my wrist .

How To Manage Your Energy

I mean , I mean , and I was even worse than that . I was like , to your point , I was depressed for so long and I was suicidal for so long . I mean , it was , uh , something I thought the depression , at least I thought I'd grow out of it , you know , you think , well , I just need to accomplish more , you know , getting good grades isn't enough .

How To Manage Your Energy

And he said , no , no , no , he was like , Rob , you don't know , like you just shared this story and today was gonna be the day and I was like , today was the day for what he was like . Today was the day that I was gonna kill myself . Today was the day and his dad looked at him , I'm like , shocked , of course .

How To Manage Your Energy

Got to a place I was so suicidal that I began to look up ways and means and methods to kill myself . Um , and I even had a suicidal uh , experience there where I decided I was gonna slash or slip my wrist . And I , um you know , I dug the knife into my wrist and I mean , strangely enough in that moment , I experienced like this inexplicable , ineffable , peace , love and joy , the kind of which I had never experienced before that I had never experienced even when I was achieving accomplishment acquiring all these other things to beautiful German cars and health and all this stuff .

How To Manage Your Energy

And then I got a little bit into the story that I got into with you . I got , you know , I shared that story with him around the depression and suicide and suicidal experience . And um I fell off a son right to my right there was a , a young man standing there with him and I didn't really notice right away and uh apparently it was his son and someone was getting really upset , really worked up .