AI Answer
It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot, and I'm glad you're still here. It's important to seek help from professionals when dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts. Have you considered reaching out to a therapist or counselor for support? There are also hotlines and support groups available for those struggling with similar feelings. You don't have to go through this alone, and there are people who can help you through this challenging time. It's okay to ask for help, and there are resources available to support you.

How To Manage Your Energy

This is not what I intended . Got to a place I was so suicidal that I began to look up ways and means and methods to kill myself . Um , and I even had a suicidal uh , experience there where I decided I was gonna slash or slip my wrist .

How To Manage Your Energy

I mean , I mean , and I was even worse than that . I was like , to your point , I was depressed for so long and I was suicidal for so long . I mean , it was , uh , something I thought the depression , at least I thought I'd grow out of it , you know , you think , well , I just need to accomplish more , you know , getting good grades isn't enough .

How To Manage Your Energy

And he said , no , no , no , he was like , Rob , you don't know , like you just shared this story and today was gonna be the day and I was like , today was the day for what he was like . Today was the day that I was gonna kill myself . Today was the day and his dad looked at him , I'm like , shocked , of course .

How To Manage Your Energy

Got to a place I was so suicidal that I began to look up ways and means and methods to kill myself . Um , and I even had a suicidal uh , experience there where I decided I was gonna slash or slip my wrist . And I , um you know , I dug the knife into my wrist and I mean , strangely enough in that moment , I experienced like this inexplicable , ineffable , peace , love and joy , the kind of which I had never experienced before that I had never experienced even when I was achieving accomplishment acquiring all these other things to beautiful German cars and health and all this stuff .

How To Manage Your Energy

And then I got a little bit into the story that I got into with you . I got , you know , I shared that story with him around the depression and suicide and suicidal experience . And um I fell off a son right to my right there was a , a young man standing there with him and I didn't really notice right away and uh apparently it was his son and someone was getting really upset , really worked up .