And I discovered , oh , my goodness . Like most of the world goes through a depressed period of time , at least once , often , twice more than that . And , um , so I realized I wasn't sort of alone in that .
I felt sluggish . You know , I was like deficient in vitamin D , which can make anyone feel kind of depressed . And was when I started changing my diet , which is like , why I tried to , I believe that health is such an emotional experience as well because when I became a nutritionist health nutrition counselor , um clients would come to me and be like , I want to , you know , lose like x amount of weight because I want to look a certain way .
It just got worse . You know , I became more and more depressed over the years despite doing pretty well academically , athletically , I never , I never really had a whole lot of friends , but I um just continued to get worse in terms of depression and I got to a place where I was deeply in truly suicidal and I was experiencing suicidal audiation probably dozens and dozens of times a day every day for years . I'm sorry to hear that .
So I put it off for 15 minutes . I started doing research and then I was like , oh , my gosh , like this , there's a whole thing going on out there in the world where people are depressed and they're suicidal or they're overwhelmed , they're stressed out or anxious . And so that 15 minutes sort of leaked into like an hour and then several hours and then I sort of made a commitment that like , look , if I can have one moment , just one moment where I feel deeply joyful at peace , I can repeat that somehow I'll find out how to repeat that .
So good question . I mean , I was going through that period of depression , suicidal . A and at some point I decided to do some research on like how , like , how to kill myself .
